It's 1994... I'm 9 months pregnant and my expected due date is 27th of December... We've already passed mid December... It's winter in Montreal and cooooold... But that's the least of my worries... My delivery date is so close to Christmas and I'm worried that my doctor will be off on holiday and I will have to resort to the hospital security to deliver my baby!!! The more I think of the possibilities, the more I panic... I decide to speak with my gynaecologist about this... She's a wonderful elderly woman with a lot of experience, and I was CERTAIN she'll understand my predicament... On my next visit which is probably the last one before my delivery, I breach the subject... "Doctor... I was wondering... You know my due date is on the 27th and I might, just might have the baby say on Xmas eve or Xmas morning... You'd come for me won't you?"... The sweet doctor looks at me with a huge smile... I'm reassured... "Of course not, my dear... It's Christmas"... She continues smiling... With great self control I refrain from throwing myself at her to beg her with everything that's sacred to her to show up at my delivery, and instead decide to try another tactic... "But Doctor I trust no one but you to deliver the baby." I smile back at her and give hypocrisy a brand new dimension... "Oh don't worry dear anyone who's at the hospital at the time can take care of the delivery"... I'm speechless... ANYONE? I run out of tactics and words... With a smile she shows me to the door... I'm not moving... "Good luck dear" she said... I refuse to budge... "Is there NO way you might come"... I resist her soft nudge which is now turning into a gentle shove... "I'll be travelling... Merry Christmas dear and good luck"... as she softly throws me out of the room with a smile. Merry Christmas? On the 20th of December? Good Luck? Why is she wishing me Good Luck? Why does she think I need Good Luck?... This can't be good!... I'm inconsolable! For the next couple of days I go around in circles almost hoping to "help" myself deliver... But it's not happening... So I phone the sweet doctor on the 23rd of December. "Yes dear?" I could "hear" her smile across the phone... "Doctor, can't I have the baby before you go on leave?"... "How's that dear?"... "Can't you INDUCE the delivery?"... Pause... I can't "hear" her smile... "Doctor are you there?"... "You're too late dear"... Late? This is not a flight I'm missing... "Late, doctor?"... "I'm fully booked dear... I have other people to deliver today..." Oh My God! So other women (obviously smarter than me) did think ahead of this Xmas bottleneck (literally) and booked an early flight!... My pride went out the window... "Please doctor! Please try to take me in"... I was too honest to feign tears but I did manage to convey how pathetic and desperate I was feeling... "I'm sorry dear..." She hangs up... Now I start to cry... I visualized myself going into labor on Xmas Eve and Hussein driving like crazy and we get stuck in a snow storm and can't reach the hospital in time, and I end up having the baby in the car with the help of a Mexican taxi driver! Just like in the movies... No, this can't happen to me... Ya Rab... I pray... It's 11 a.m. and the phone rings... "Hello dear" says the smiling voice on the other side... "Hello doctor..." "Dear if you come now I will be able to admit you" Pause... "Dear, you want to have the baby now, don't you?" I'm not talking... There are only tears of joy... "Doctor I'll be there"... By a stroke of tawfeeq from Allah Hussein's home and I quickly prepare my bag... My mother's taking a shower so I knock on the door... "Mommy, we're going to hospital now because I'm having the baby"... In one second the door is flung open and the poor lady is beside herself with anxiety... "How? What happened? Did your labor start already?"... She looks me up and down and seeing no signs of delivery the anxious look is replaced by an incredulous one! "What do you mean you're having the baby NOW? You're not even in labor!!!"... "I'm going to be induced because the doctor's going on holiday"... My mother mutters under her breath that she has NEVER seen anything like this in her life, and how in her days women waited for the baby to be born and not pulled it out... but she quickly regained herself and showered me with her blessings and prayers...
We arrived at the Royal Victoria Hospital and I had absolutely NO signs of delivery whatsoever... Never mind... I was so happy that my trusted gynaecologist was there for me... Induction or not, I didn't care... I'll be fine... The Royal Vic was completely remodelled since I had Farida 4 years earlier and the delivery rooms were just perfect and fully prepared... Beautiful pastel colors, a comfy Lazy-Boy... Impeccable delivery bed and and high tech everywhere... I couldn't be happier... The nurse came to take my info... "You'll be having the epidural, the doctor will be here shortly" "No, I won't... I'm going for natural birth"... The nurse dropped her pen... "Natural birth?"... "Yes, I'm ready with the breathing exercises... I'll be fine" I said confidently... "That's very brave..." I didn't understand what she meant by that... She administered the I.V. to my arm and left...
A group of young doctors came in and wanted to examine me... "What do you think you are doing?" I demanded... "We have to examine you"... "No one TOUCHES me but my doctor!"... "But..." "NO ONE TOUCHES ME BUT MY DOCTOR!"... I had forgotten that the Royal Vic is a teaching hospital which is affiliated to McGill School of Medicine... Teaching hospital my foot! I was not ready to be a training field for aspiring gynaecologists! So I wait for my doctor... She shows up between deliveries... "Dear, you made it"... "I wouldn't have missed this for anything Doctor"... "Ok dear... Now you have to let the doctors prepare you for induction... I'll be back when you start your labor"... "But"... She didn't hear me... She disappeared in a flash... The group of doctors whom I "shooed" out of the room earlier returned... "Excuse me but can you wait 5 minutes until I pray?"... Their expression says: "This nut case won't be easy to handle"... They were exasperated, but polite... "Madam, we don't have time for this..." "Please, just give me 5 minutes I HAVE to pray..." "OK we'll be back" It was not easy hopping off the bed and performing wudou (ablution) with the I.V. dangling from my arm... I then sat on the side of the bed and I looked at the hospital gown that I was wearing and told Hussein: "I can't pray in this!" He quickly grabbed a sheet and covered me and said "Yalla pray please... the doctors are waiting" I wondered why everyone was getting so impatient all of a sudden! I prayed and made dou3a... Now I was ready.
I won't go into the "details" but I was induced and the my labor started... Non-stop! Because the I.V. was "pouring" into my veins the contractions were very strong and with no respite in between... Koloh darb, darb mafish sheteema?... The breathing exercises didn't help at all because they were meant to help with "normal" contractions not this belt of fire around my abdomen... I was in excruciating pain and wished I accepted the epidural... Di kannit shoura mehabiba... There were 2 monitors attached to me, the heartbeat of the baby and the "pain counter" that showed the strength and duration of the contractions... The number on that counter kept climbing, climbing until it reached 199 (the highest number!) and it hovered there for a while before it started to decline only to climb again after 2 seconds... My threshold of pain was pushed beyond its limit as I was probably hitting 500 but that counter wasn't showing it! Whose idea was it to induce the baby? But I was trying to be patient and accepted this pain with all my Eman, consoling myself that it was kaffara and removal of sins (ma7ou thonoub) and was determined to pursue this to the end... Until one smart nurse entered the room to check on me and looked at the contraction monitor and exclaimed... "Oh My God... it's hitting 199... the maximum I've ever seen was 80 or 90... How can you tolerate this much pain... you're a hero!"... That was it! I screamed... "Get me an epiduraaaaaaaal... Nooooooow"... The idiot of a nurse was in no hurry and following procedure, spoke slowly to ensure that she gives the full details to the patient: "I'm not sure we can give it to you now because you should've taken it in the beginning before you started labor"... If looks could kill, that woman would've been fried right there and then!... "Just get me the doctor... Noooooowwwwww"... This could easily translate to "Ghouri min odami es-sa3a di...!!!" The anaesthesia doctor came and he told me... "We barely have time to give it to you now, but you have to hold perfectly still or we'll have complications..." The pain was beyond imagination but I was willing to do anything to relieve it, I froze in place while he gave me the epidural... Alhamdulilah... Ya salaaaaaaam... I wish I took it 2 hours earlier...
Fast forward... Omar is born!...
Fast forward... The next day... It's December 24th, 1994... Christmas Eve... The hospital is deserted except for Dr. David Cohen who came to perform circumcision on the infant males whose parents requested it... I asked him to circumcise Omar... The nurse said: "The doctor won't do it unless you pay $ 80"... "No problem, I accept the fee. Add it to the hospital bill." The nurse goes and comes back: "Dr. Cohen only accepts cash"... "No problem, let him do it and when my husband comes we'll pay him cash"... The nurse goes and comes back... "Dr. Cohen says he won't touch the baby until he's paid first..." I can't believe this... I was just going to tell the nurse to go tell Cohen that back home circumcision is the work of barbers in the Egyptian countryside! But I bite my tongue and instead decide to give him a deadly look (one of my if-looks-could-kill) but since he's not in my scope of vision, I visualize myself burning him alive with my laser rays!... The nurse goes and comes back... "Dr. Cohen says if your husband doesn't come soon he's going to leave"... I concentrate harder to strengthen my visual laser rays so that Dr. Cohen is fried and THEN burnt alive! When the nurse finally takes him the precious $ 80 and he tucks them safely in his wallet, the honorable doctor performs the ritual...
We leave the Royal Vic on Christmas Eve... Alhamdulilah ya Rab... Mission accomplished... Merry Xmas everyone...
We arrived at the Royal Victoria Hospital and I had absolutely NO signs of delivery whatsoever... Never mind... I was so happy that my trusted gynaecologist was there for me... Induction or not, I didn't care... I'll be fine... The Royal Vic was completely remodelled since I had Farida 4 years earlier and the delivery rooms were just perfect and fully prepared... Beautiful pastel colors, a comfy Lazy-Boy... Impeccable delivery bed and and high tech everywhere... I couldn't be happier... The nurse came to take my info... "You'll be having the epidural, the doctor will be here shortly" "No, I won't... I'm going for natural birth"... The nurse dropped her pen... "Natural birth?"... "Yes, I'm ready with the breathing exercises... I'll be fine" I said confidently... "That's very brave..." I didn't understand what she meant by that... She administered the I.V. to my arm and left...
A group of young doctors came in and wanted to examine me... "What do you think you are doing?" I demanded... "We have to examine you"... "No one TOUCHES me but my doctor!"... "But..." "NO ONE TOUCHES ME BUT MY DOCTOR!"... I had forgotten that the Royal Vic is a teaching hospital which is affiliated to McGill School of Medicine... Teaching hospital my foot! I was not ready to be a training field for aspiring gynaecologists! So I wait for my doctor... She shows up between deliveries... "Dear, you made it"... "I wouldn't have missed this for anything Doctor"... "Ok dear... Now you have to let the doctors prepare you for induction... I'll be back when you start your labor"... "But"... She didn't hear me... She disappeared in a flash... The group of doctors whom I "shooed" out of the room earlier returned... "Excuse me but can you wait 5 minutes until I pray?"... Their expression says: "This nut case won't be easy to handle"... They were exasperated, but polite... "Madam, we don't have time for this..." "Please, just give me 5 minutes I HAVE to pray..." "OK we'll be back" It was not easy hopping off the bed and performing wudou (ablution) with the I.V. dangling from my arm... I then sat on the side of the bed and I looked at the hospital gown that I was wearing and told Hussein: "I can't pray in this!" He quickly grabbed a sheet and covered me and said "Yalla pray please... the doctors are waiting" I wondered why everyone was getting so impatient all of a sudden! I prayed and made dou3a... Now I was ready.
I won't go into the "details" but I was induced and the my labor started... Non-stop! Because the I.V. was "pouring" into my veins the contractions were very strong and with no respite in between... Koloh darb, darb mafish sheteema?... The breathing exercises didn't help at all because they were meant to help with "normal" contractions not this belt of fire around my abdomen... I was in excruciating pain and wished I accepted the epidural... Di kannit shoura mehabiba... There were 2 monitors attached to me, the heartbeat of the baby and the "pain counter" that showed the strength and duration of the contractions... The number on that counter kept climbing, climbing until it reached 199 (the highest number!) and it hovered there for a while before it started to decline only to climb again after 2 seconds... My threshold of pain was pushed beyond its limit as I was probably hitting 500 but that counter wasn't showing it! Whose idea was it to induce the baby? But I was trying to be patient and accepted this pain with all my Eman, consoling myself that it was kaffara and removal of sins (ma7ou thonoub) and was determined to pursue this to the end... Until one smart nurse entered the room to check on me and looked at the contraction monitor and exclaimed... "Oh My God... it's hitting 199... the maximum I've ever seen was 80 or 90... How can you tolerate this much pain... you're a hero!"... That was it! I screamed... "Get me an epiduraaaaaaaal... Nooooooow"... The idiot of a nurse was in no hurry and following procedure, spoke slowly to ensure that she gives the full details to the patient: "I'm not sure we can give it to you now because you should've taken it in the beginning before you started labor"... If looks could kill, that woman would've been fried right there and then!... "Just get me the doctor... Noooooowwwwww"... This could easily translate to "Ghouri min odami es-sa3a di...!!!" The anaesthesia doctor came and he told me... "We barely have time to give it to you now, but you have to hold perfectly still or we'll have complications..." The pain was beyond imagination but I was willing to do anything to relieve it, I froze in place while he gave me the epidural... Alhamdulilah... Ya salaaaaaaam... I wish I took it 2 hours earlier...
Fast forward... Omar is born!...
Fast forward... The next day... It's December 24th, 1994... Christmas Eve... The hospital is deserted except for Dr. David Cohen who came to perform circumcision on the infant males whose parents requested it... I asked him to circumcise Omar... The nurse said: "The doctor won't do it unless you pay $ 80"... "No problem, I accept the fee. Add it to the hospital bill." The nurse goes and comes back: "Dr. Cohen only accepts cash"... "No problem, let him do it and when my husband comes we'll pay him cash"... The nurse goes and comes back... "Dr. Cohen says he won't touch the baby until he's paid first..." I can't believe this... I was just going to tell the nurse to go tell Cohen that back home circumcision is the work of barbers in the Egyptian countryside! But I bite my tongue and instead decide to give him a deadly look (one of my if-looks-could-kill) but since he's not in my scope of vision, I visualize myself burning him alive with my laser rays!... The nurse goes and comes back... "Dr. Cohen says if your husband doesn't come soon he's going to leave"... I concentrate harder to strengthen my visual laser rays so that Dr. Cohen is fried and THEN burnt alive! When the nurse finally takes him the precious $ 80 and he tucks them safely in his wallet, the honorable doctor performs the ritual...
We leave the Royal Vic on Christmas Eve... Alhamdulilah ya Rab... Mission accomplished... Merry Xmas everyone...
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